To Dream of You: The Royal House of Atharia, Book 1 Read online

  She ran her hand along his jaw, tipping his face toward her. "I can make you feel better, Drew. We've done it before. It is not like we're not acquainted. Let us both find pleasure tonight." Her hand slipped over his waistcoat toward his breeches. He caught her fingers just before they reached his front falls. "No, Josephine."

  "Come now." She chuckled, and before he could stop her, she had straddled his legs, thrusting herself against his cock. He stared up at her, feeling oddly numb, no matter how much she tried to arouse him. "You know you will enjoy it, Drew. You've never complained before."

  For a moment, he debated with himself what to do. Allow her to take him, try to fuck his pain away. He sighed, knowing it was no use. Nothing but Holly could do that. He clasped her hips, and she half-sighed, half-moaned at his touch. He was sorry to disappoint her, but tonight there was only one woman he wanted, and it was not the one that occupied his lap, but the one that occupied his heart.

  Holly had seen Drew flee the ballroom and, after the waltz, had set off to find him. She was ashamed of herself for treating him the way she had. Pushing him away as if he had meant nothing at all to her. He meant everything, in fact.

  She loved him, and tomorrow, she would tell her people and her family of her choice once she was queen. That it would not be a prince of royal birth, but an Englishman. One who had saved her life and her happiness. A future duke who held her heart in his hand, no matter if over the last week, she had tried so very hard to shift his hold on her.

  The sound of a woman's moan caught her attention, and Holly hastened her steps. Was someone injured or being threatened in some way? Glancing into a darkened, unoccupied room, she gasped at the sight of Drew and the widow Courtenay in an indelicate position.

  Anger thrummed through her, hot and wild. How dare he!

  Holly stepped into the room, ordering the two guards who followed her to light the candles. Lady Courtenay had the wit to remove herself from Lord Balhannah's lap, As for Drew, he slumped back on the settee, his reaction guarded, shuttered in fact.

  "Get out and remove yourself from the palace," she commanded, not sparing her ladyship another look. The woman fled the room without a word. "Please leave us," she commanded her guards as they too walked from the room, closing the door behind them.

  Drew gestured toward her, his eyes unfocused and glassy. "Ah, so you have demeaned yourself to come see me, Your Highness. How privileged I am by your company."

  His words stung, and she understood why. She had kept him from her, had not allowed him to gain an audience, even though her sisters had told her to stop being so obstinate. Stop punishing him. It was Drew's fault that she was so very mad with him. If he had only come to her room, finished what they had started on the terrace at the Medici estate, all would be well between them. She could not understand why he'd denied her. There was only one reason in her mind she could think of. He had not wanted her. She had not captured his heart as she hoped she had.

  "You seemed very well pleased with how I found you tonight, my lord. Do not act the injured party now."

  He cocked his brow, twisting his head a little to look up at her. "Oh, I am the injured party. You have ignored me this past week, and why? Because I did not tumble you to your bed and fuck you like a whore."

  Holly swallowed, clamping her jaw as she fought to control her rioting emotions. "I thought that was what you wanted from me. It was what I wanted from you, but less baseless as you've described it. And yet here you are, caught in a darkened room with one of my guests. I guess you really were a libertine in London and now Atharia as well. How proud you must be."

  He scoffed, stood, and came to tower over her. "You're as cruel as your uncle. After everything that had occurred between us, how could you throw me aside as you did?"

  "You threw me aside first, my lord. I was merely leveling the score."

  Drew gaped at her, running a hand through his already mussed hair. The sight of him, being this close, reminded her of why she longed for him. She did not want to hurt him. She loved him.

  "I did not want you to regret your choice of being with me. Of all the times that I've been with a woman, I have never deflowered a virgin. If I had, I would have married her. I could not marry you. I'm not good enough for the Atharia crown, or its people."

  His words cut like a knife, and she blinked away the tears that welled in her eyes. He was good enough for both herself and her people. It was her fault she had allowed him to think otherwise, made him agree to see their friendship and false marriage as a temporary fix, not a long-term possibility.

  "And so you're looking for another tupp, and here I find you in an indelicate position with a woman. How fickle you men are when you do not get what you want from one person, you merely find it with another."

  "Be assured, madam that had you walked in on me fucking Lady Courtenay, you would be under no question as to what I was doing. As it was, she stood, did she not, and both of us were perfectly attired. I was not fucking her. I wasn't doing anything with her but telling her to leave."

  Holly pushed past him, having heard enough. He clasped her arm and wrenched her to his chest. "I refused her offer. I do not want to fuck Lady Courtenay or anyone else. I want you, damn it. The one woman whom I cannot have and whom from her actions over the last week does not want me either."

  His deep, gravelly words coiled pleasure through her core, and her body ached and burned for his touch. Even after walking in on him with another woman, still, she craved his touch, wanting his bruising kisses and devastating desire.

  She stared at him, her mind on a tightrope and threatening to tip either way. Toward or away from Drew. His eyes darkened with need, and he made a choice for her. He seized her lips, kissing her with punishing force. The desire that thrummed from Drew, his trembling hands as they clasped her face, his frenzied kiss ought to scare her, but it did not. Nothing he ever did would ever scare her. She loved every moment of being in his arms.

  Holly clasped his face and kissed him back. He pulled away, silent questions in his eyes.

  Want me. Pick me.

  She seized his lips again and let herself fall his way, into his arms and where she believed she always should have been.

  Drew's legs threatened to buckle under the need that coursed through him. Having Holly back in his arms was an elixir that would forever give him strength and purpose. He seized her mouth, laid claim to her soft lips. Their tongues tangled, soft moans intertwined with hungry growls.

  He slipped his arms beneath her ass and hoisted her onto his waist. She wrapped her legs about him, kissing him. Her hair tumbled down around her shoulders, pins scattered. Drew tore at the back of her dress, needing it off, to see her. He stepped toward a daybed in the corner of the room, wanting Holly beneath him, moaning and arching as he made her come.

  "Tell me you want me. Tell me this is not something you will regret come morning."

  She worked his cravat, ripping it free from his neck and throwing it to the floor. Her eyes met his, and he read the desire burning in her green orbs. His gut clenched at her beauty, at her willingness to be with him. She was far superior to him. He did not deserve such a gift.

  "I will never regret you, Drew." Her gaze dipped to his lips before she kissed him again.

  His control snapped, and he tumbled them to the bed. Holly chuckled but Drew burned with a need that would not abate. This was too fast. He needed to slow down, take his time. Holly rubbed against him, her knees lifting and bringing her core to hit against his cock. All thought dissipated and Drew ripped at his front falls, freeing his cock that strained with need.

  Her hands slid over his back before she reached around and clasped his member. He clamped his eyes shut and saw stars. Her touch, the slip of her fingers strong about his member, made it almost impossible not to spend in her hand. Drew thrust into her hold, and she purred, sending his wits to spiral.

  It was his turn to tease, to watch her enjoy his touch. Drew leaned back, breaking her hold, and ho
isted her dress up about her waist. Her cunny glistened, aroused and wet. He slipped a hand over her folds, rubbing the pad of his thumb across her clit. She mewled and undulated beneath his touch. He licked his fingers, tasting her, earthy and sweet. With a slowness that he did not think himself capable of right at this time, he pressed his fingers into her. Pushing into her tight, wet heat.

  So fucking hot.

  "Drew," she moaned, her muscles clamping around his fingers and giving him a taste of what he would relish very soon.

  He fucked her with his hand, reached down, and forced her to watch him when she closed her eyes, her head thrashing from side to side. "Look at me," he demanded, his cock oozing pre-cum as she climbed her way to release.

  Just when he could feel her at her highest ebb, he pulled out, replacing his fingers with his tongue. She gasped, her hands reaching for his head. He thought she would push him away, but she did not. Her grip on his hair tightened, urged him to remain where he was.

  He lapped at her cunny, kissing and teasing her engorged nubbin until she was riding his face, taking her pleasure, taking all that she wanted from him. Drew stroked his way down to her core, fucking her with his tongue, teasing her clit with his thumb. He would never get enough of her. From this day forward, he wanted to wake up with her gasping his name as he took her, made love to her.

  He taunted between her folds and suckled on her clit, flicking it with his tongue. She came hard, his name a repeated chant filling the room. He did not stop his assault until she was spent, her legs falling open, her arms flat out on the bed.

  Drew came over her, placing himself at her core. Her hooded, opaque eyes opened, watching him before she reached up, clasped the front of his shirt, and pulled him down. He kissed her deep and thrust into her heat. They moaned, and Drew doubted he had ever felt more alive, more in need of anyone in his life.

  "Ah, Holly," he gasped, thrusting deeper, faster.

  She did not shy away from him, but wrapped her legs about his waist and lifted her hips, taking him deeper, moving beneath him to take her own pleasure and control.

  His breath hitched, his thrusts increased. The muffled sound of their moans mingled through their kiss, the slap of skin on skin a symphony he'd never forget.

  "Oh, Drew, do not stop. That feels so good."

  He wouldn't stop. Nothing, not even Holly's entire army, could pull him away from tupping her right at this moment. They were like a beast with two backs, frenzied and without heed. His balls tightened, and an ache filled his lower gut. He was close.

  He fought not to spend, wanting her to climax a second time. Biting down on his desire, his wish was granted, not a few moments later.

  She wrenched up, his name a muffled scream against his chest. Her core muscles flexed and tightened, and it was too much. No matter how well-versed in the act of lovemaking, no man could deny that call to pleasure.

  He let go of his control and came, fucked with deep, hard thrusts as he let himself go. The pleasure was shocking in its capacity to make him senseless. Never had he ever come so hard. Enjoyed himself so much, or wanted to do the same thing again and again for the rest of his life.

  Drew flopped down beside her on the daybed, pulling her into the crook of his arm. He glanced down at her and found a self-satisfied grin on her lips that made him chuckle. "Did I live up to your expectations, my love?" he asked, not caring that he'd used an endearment he had yet to voice out loud.

  She purred, wrapping her leg over his waist and her arm over his stomach, idly playing with his bellybutton. "More than lived up to them." She glanced up at him, a wicked light in her eyes. "I am wondering when we can do this all again. Had I known being with a man could be so enjoyable, I would have married at my first opportunity."

  The mention of marriage, and hers in particular, sent panic to race through his blood. His stomach churned. "Not all men are created equal. You may have married a dud. Perhaps you ought to marry me instead just to be secure in your choice of a bed partner."

  She raised her brow, her eyes wide. "Did you just ask me to marry you, Lord Balhannah?"

  He reached over, pushing a lock of her hair from her face, giving him a clearer view of her beauty that took his breath away every time he saw it. "If I said yes, would you consider me?" He was taking a risk. He knew they had agreed that they were only ever meant to pretend, that he wasn't equal to her status. That she would marry a prince or no one at all, but he could not help himself. The heart wanted what the heart wanted, and his organ beat for the woman in his arms and no one else.

  "If it were my choice, you know I would choose you, Drew." She frowned, her eyes growing sad. "Please do not make this parting between us any harder than it already is."

  He stilled at her words and the finality of them. Even after all that they shared, having made love to her, being in love with her, and she would still turn him away? Drew sat up, climbing off the daybed, righting his clothing as best he could. He kept his view of her at bay, did not need to see the disheveled, well-bedded woman whom he loved and adored.

  Not that he could disrespect her for her choice. A queen to her people to the very end, she was only doing what she thought was right for her homeland. She would forgo the desire of her own heart to keep her people safe and protected. Marriage to another royal family would ensure that. Drew could not hate her for such a sacrifice, even if the idea of leaving her tore him in two.

  Dressed, he strode to the door, halting, but unable to look at her. "I wish you well in all that you do in life, Holly. I wish you happiness and no more pain. You will be queen from tomorrow. You no longer need me here. I shall return to England on the high tide tomorrow evening. Goodbye."

  Drew walked from the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. His vision blurred as he strode into the depths of the palace. Away from the ball and away from Holly. He would leave the court tonight. He could not stay here. There was nothing left for him here now.

  Chapter 21

  Holly stepped out onto the palace's balcony and waved to her people, thanking them for their support on this triumphant day. Her sisters stood beside her, waving and smiling, happy that the crown was back in their control and that the people would no longer suffer under the tyrannical rule of their uncle.

  The afternoon waned, and Holly's attention shifted to the port that she could just make out through the houses that sat beyond the royal square. A large ship's mask peeked up above the roofline of Atharia's homes, and her heart stuttered in her chest.

  Drew would be on that ship this evening. Sailing away to England and from her, and why? Because she'd not stopped him when he'd stated he would go. Because she had not said yes, even though her heart screamed at the joy of his proposal.

  With one last wave to the crowd, she turned, ready to face her court and announce her future and that of the palace. She entered the throne room, stepped up on the raised dais, and sat in her throne. A dark-blue canopy hung above her, gilded edging and a carpet made of the same pattern beneath her feet.

  The room quieted, and Holly took a calming breath, ready to declare her rules. She spoke of the suffering of her people, how she would combat hunger and homelessness. Her plans for schools. For all children to be free of child labor. The supplement she would enact for parents to keep their children in school instead of pulling them out to work in the mines and fields.

  She spoke of making the port deeper, increasing imports and exports. Her hope that soon Atharia would be looked upon as a powerful nation, self-reliant but open to trade with other countries. A fair democracy governed by a government and not the royal family, although they would be there to guide and assist when needed.

  Gasps sounded at her declaration, but it was no different from what other countries had done and had prospered from. A rich, ruling family whom the people could not choose to be their voice was not modern thinking. She wanted her people to be able to choose whom they believed was in line with their views. The royal family of Atharia would never again place t
he people in such jeopardy as her uncle had done. She would not allow it, and she would make it law that it was so.

  "On the matter of my future happiness, and the king consort who shall be by my side, I wish to inform you that I have made my choice and my choice is final. A forthcoming offer will be made to the Marquess of Balhannah, future Duke Sotherton of England, to be my husband. My choice is final and will not be debated." Her eyes met those of her private secretary, his eyes bulging out of his head along with everyone else's. Her sisters, however, smiled with happiness that told Holly she had chosen wisely. She had picked the man she loved, and there would never be an error with such a choice. "That is all."

  Holly stood, walking from the room, her sisters and ladies in waiting following close on her heels. Muffled gasps and chatter sounded behind her, and she raised her chin, not caring a bit for their opinions. A weight that had plagued her for weeks lifted from her shoulders, and for the first time in an age, she felt as though she could breathe.

  She turned to her secretary. "I need to travel to the wharf right away."

  "Yes, Your Majesty," he said, striding past her and yelling out orders for the royal carriage to be prepared for the queen.

  “Your Majesty, may I speak to you?”

  Holly turned at the sound of Niccolo’s voice. “Leave us a moment,” she said to her ladies and sisters who surrounded her. “What is it, Niccolo?” she asked, not willing to hear any more prejudice against Drew.

  Her guard stood with his hands behind his back, head bowed. “I stand before you and offer you my humble apologies and hope that you will grant me the honor to remain by your side as your humble servant and protector.”

  She narrowed her eyes, hoping she could trust him. The last few weeks had been fraught with tension. It was no secret Niccolo did not like Drew, but he could not remain here if that were still the case. “I lost faith in you, Niccolo. You acted out of character and above your position. Why?”