To Dream of You: The Royal House of Atharia, Book 1 Read online

  Drew frowned, staring down at the princess who was far more intelligent than he'd given her credit for. "Are you telling me, Princess Alessa not to sulk?"

  She grinned up at him, and once again, he was shocked by the beauty of the woman. "I knew you were not a silly Englishman, my lord. I shall like having you as my brother. Now all you must do is not disappoint me and ensure it occurs. My sister deserves happiness, and I think that comes in the form of you." She poked him in the chest after her words, turned, and sauntered off.

  He turned his attention back to where he'd seen Holly last and found her gone. Taller than most here, he looked over the heads of the guests but could not place her. Fear spiked in his gut, and he turned, searching behind him, only to see a flash of purple slip through the large terrace doors that opened to the outdoors. Without thought, he went after her, not to just ensure she was safe and no harm would come to her, but because he missed her voice, her touch, everything about the woman.

  If only London could see him now. He shook his head at the thought. Oh, how they would laugh at Lord Balhannah and his falling hard for a woman. How they would laugh indeed.

  Holly stepped out on the terrace, the warm night air enabling her to breathe. She took a couple of deep, calming breaths. The smell of salt, the sound of waves crashing on the cliffs, brought calm to her soul.

  Drew was foremost in her mind, and his leaving. Everyone about her questioned his motives. Why he was with her at all and why he had not stayed in England. She had answered as best she could, but the one thing she did want to admit, could not say, was that he was here because she had wanted him to be by her side.

  She could have demanded he stay in England, and Drew could not have stopped her, but she had not.

  The sound of the terrace door behind her opening pulled her from her thoughts, and she smiled the moment she recognized the light-haired and handsome Englishman she had fallen for. And she had fallen for him, utterly and completely. There was no use denying her feelings.

  How she wanted to tell him all that she felt, how her body always yearned for his touch, how the sound of his voice made her heart stumble. How she never wanted him to go.

  Drew came toward her, his steps slow and guarded. Was he unsure if he was welcome here? She went over to him, closing the space, and wrapped her arms about his waist, reveling in the sound of his heart beating against her ear. "I have missed you. Let us not spend so much time apart again. I need you beside me, Drew." More than she'd ever admitted.

  He wrapped his arms about her, and she felt the light kiss he placed on her head. "I have missed you too. I saw you leave and wanted to make sure you are safe."

  Holly leaned back in his arms, admiring her view of him. "I am well, just tired. Where are you staying? I asked for you to be in the room beside mine, but last evening when I knocked on that bedroom door, and I entered at no answer, I found it unoccupied."

  He shrugged, pulling her close. "I'm at the opposite end of the house to your apartments. I think they are trying to tell me without words what they think of the English."

  She frowned at the idea of Drew not feeling welcome here. He was her guest, and as such, he ought to be treated with respect, if not deference. "I shall speak to Signore Medici about this. I want you beside me, not kept from me."

  "You want me that much?"

  His words sent a thrill down her spine, and she moved closer, brushing her breasts against his chest. Drew felt good in her arms, and just as she had since the moment she'd met him, she wanted to wrap herself in his arms, feel him against her flesh, and never let go.

  "I do want you so greatly." Holly leaned up, winding her arms about his neck, before kissing him. He took her lips, delving deep, and thrusting his tongue against hers. She moaned. Drew clasped her bottom and hoisted her against his erect manhood. Holly undulated against him, seeking release, anything to soothe the need that thrummed between her legs.

  Somehow they forgot where they were or that they could be interrupted at any moment. The kiss turned frenzied, hard and fast, wet and delicious. Drew picked her up, hoisting her into his arms, and walked them to the end of the terrace. He set them on a stone seat, placing her on his lap. All the time, the kiss went on, mouths exploring and loving. Holly could not get enough. She clasped his hand, placing it on her leg, wanting him to touch her as he had before.

  "Not here, Holly," he breathed against her mouth. "This isn't the place. No matter how much I want to assure you that if it were possible, I would take you over this chair."

  She shuddered out a breath at the thought of such a thing. If she were never to marry this man or have a marriage of affection and love, passion, she would at least have this night—one night with the man she loved.

  "Come to my room. Be with me?"

  His eyes widened, and he pulled back, staring at her as if she had grown two heads. "What do you mean?"

  Holly nodded, licking her lips, the need to taste him again, to gain pleasure in his arms and desire she was unable to deny herself. No longer would she deny herself. "I want you, Drew, in all ways. I know it's a risk, but it is one that I'm willing to take." Holly slipped from his lap, leaning down one last time and kissing him gently. He stared at her, and she could see that he was debating her words, thinking, deciding.

  "You know where I am when you're ready." Holly turned and left him then. A smile lifted her lips at the thought of him joining her, and he would, she was sure of it. He would not disappoint her, it was an impossibility for a man in love, and he loved her. Her sister had been correct on that score, and it was the only reason why she would give herself to him, heart and soul.

  Tonight she would love a man who was not her husband, and the future Queen of Atharia would love every minute of it.

  Chapter 19

  Drew did not go to Holly's room as she had begged him. If he were to do one honorable thing in the world, other than bringing Holly back to Atharia and helping her regain her place as queen, he would also act the gentleman and not take her innocence.

  She deserved better than a tumble with a man who was destined to return to England. To sleep with her lay madness, for them both. He would not be able to let her go, no matter what her thoughts were regarding marrying a man who was not of royal blood or had powerful people behind him.

  He'd paced his room to the point that the Aubusson rug had a little indent at the end of his bed from his feet. The night gave way to dawn, and it was only when he could no longer keep awake that he succumbed to sleep, fully clothed and exhausted, mind and body, from having denied himself what was being given freely.

  He woke several hours later to the sound of carriages leaving the estate and dragging himself from the bed. He glanced out the window to see Holly and her sister climbing up into a highly polished carriage before the drivers flicked the reins and the horses moved forward.

  Drew bolted from the room, only to start at the sight of Signore Medici, who waited in the hallway outside his room. Did the man expect him to give chase, to stop Holly from leaving?

  "Lord Balhannah, if you would refresh yourself and come downstairs, there is a carriage waiting for you. You're to return to the royal palace with Her Highness and Princess Alessa. Their uncle has had a seizure of some kind and has taken to his bed, unresponsive it would seem. The last thing this country needs is a war between the royal family members, and so perhaps God has shown a small mercy this day toward the crown princess to enable her to rule without obstruction."

  Drew felt his mouth gape, and he swallowed, trying to think of what this would mean for them all. Holly would become queen, and he would have to leave. His decision of last night not to go to her room weighed on his shoulders. He'd made a mistake, for there would never now be another chance to be with her. With every roll of the carriage wheel, the farther it took her from him. The farther he was to having her in his arms.

  Fuckkkk!

  He turned back into his chamber, starting for his dressing room. "I shall be down in a few minutes.
Just let me pack my things and freshen up."

  "Of course, Lord Balhannah," Signore Medici said, his tone mocking.

  Drew glanced at his lordship and did not miss the contempt the older gentleman had for him. He was not welcome here, it would seem, and with Holly traveling to the palace without him, perhaps he was no longer welcome with her as well.

  Holly was aware of Drew within the party that traveled to the royal palace, and yet she did not seek him out or try to converse with him as she would have. Perhaps it was childish of her, immature and shallow, but anger still thrummed through her blood with his denial of her.

  She had practically thrown herself at his head, and he'd declined the offer.

  Heat touched her cheeks, and even now, two days after they had left the Medici estate, the mortification of his rejection still stung. Did he not find her attractive enough to sleep with? Did he not wish to lay with her because of who she was? Or was his plan all along to make her long for him so much that she'd throw all expectations aside and offer him marriage?

  The idea that he'd played her this whole time simply to amuse himself took root and would not budge. She clenched her hands at her sides, anger thrumming through her veins as she climbed the large stairs in the foyer of her home, the palace they had grown up in. Alessa and she started toward Elena's suite of rooms, rejection biting at her silk slippers.

  They made the private part of the palace closed for their own personal use and turned toward Elena's room. Her sister, having expected them it would seem and was listening out, glanced down the passage. Seeing them, she ran from her room, pulling them both into an immovable hug.

  "Holly! Alessa, I'm so glad that you're here," Elena cried, not willing to let them go.

  Holly hugged her back, hating the thought of what she'd been put through these past months. "We're here, dearest, and all will be well. Have they told you of Uncle’s condition?"

  Elena shook her dark curls, her face pensive. "No, nothing. Only that he fell ill while entertaining and has not been able to be roused since. It has now been five days."

  Holly started toward her room, taking her sisters’ arms and pulling them along with her. "I shall go and see my uncle soon. My secretary here in the palace has been informed to start preparations for my coronation. I'm one and twenty next week, and so there will be no impediment to my taking the crown."

  "What if Uncle wakes up?" Elena asked, closing the door to Holly's room and locking it. "He has been the worst of men. I have been locked up for months." Elena turned to Alessa. "I'm so very glad you escaped and were unharmed. I worried about you. Uncle said that you had not escaped, but had also not been seen. He let me believe the worst had happened."

  Holly shook her head. The man was the worst of his kind. He would burn in hell for all that he'd done to their family and his homeland. "He can no longer hurt us."

  "There are people here who do not want you on the throne. People who are loyal to him, for reasons that are unfathomable to me," Elena said.

  "I need to know who they are. If you would make a list for me, I shall deal with them as soon as may be. I will not have trouble here. Our people and our own lives deserve better than that."

  "I agree," both her sisters said in unison.

  Holly stood, needing to go see her uncle and confirm for herself that he was as she had been told. That this was not yet another plan of foolery on his part.

  "I shall return soon. There is business that I must attend." Holly walked to the door before turning back. "Lock the door on my departure, just to be safe."

  Her uncle's suite was not far, rooms that used to be her father’s, and by right should be hers at this very moment. The large, opulent space was guarded by two of her former guards at the door. They bowed at her presence, opening the door without word or opposition.

  Holly entered the room, and dread coiled in her stomach at what she found. All her father's things that made the space special, an honorable suite of rooms fit for a king, were gone. In their place was nothing at all, stark and bland, the vibrant potted plants and paintings from the masters of the world gone. All that was left was the gold that adorned a lot of the furniture, making the room look gaudy and cheap, even if it was far from being so.

  She went to the bedroom and entered, stopping at the sight of her uncle in his bed. Small and frail, he did not appear to be the same man whom she'd left here only several months before. His face was gaunt, his hair almost white and thinning on top. To her, he looked ill and as if he had been so for quite some time.

  No movement came from the bed, and his chest barely rose, his breathing shallow. Holly dismissed the two footmen who stood beside the wall, in wait or waiting for direction. "Leave us," she commanded, waiting for the two servants to close the door.

  Holly sat on a chair beside the bed and glared at the man who had tried to take her life. Twice, in fact. Her gaze flicked to the pillows behind his head, and for the first time in her life, she considered using one to snuff out her uncle. No one would know if she did the act, and no one would question her being the crown princess.

  She slumped back in the chair, watching her uncle's chest, feeling nothing but contempt for the man. She did not pray for his soul, merely waited and watched as he took his final breaths, and when he did, she did not kiss him goodbye, but turned her back and left. His reign was over, and now hers was about to begin.

  Chapter 20

  A week later, the celebrations for the crown princess's twenty-first birthday were in full swing. Hundreds of people had come from all around Atharia to see her take her place as future monarch with the coronation happening tomorrow.

  Drew stood at the side of the ballroom, Princess Alessa by his side as he watched Holly dance the waltz with Prince Gustov of Greece. Drew had decided that after Holly's coronation tomorrow, he would leave Atharia and never look back.

  Over the last week since her uncle's passing, there had been no contact between them. He'd sat in his room, waiting for as long as he could for her to seek him out. He'd walked the gardens and met as many of the staff and guests here at the palace that he could to bide the time. He knew most people present now by their first names.

  No more would he wait around like a fool waiting for a crumb of notice. He was no one's fool, and he would not, no matter how much he adored Holly, be hers either. She did not want him here, and so he would leave.

  Drew swallowed the lump in his throat at the idea of leaving her, but he'd come here to see her rightfully take her place, and she had done all that she promised to do. She had returned to her country, and by the grace of God, had not had to fight her uncle in a war the country could not afford.

  She was happy and settled back in the palace and had ample suitable royal-blooded men fawning at her golden skirts each day. She did not need him here.

  Like a physical blow to the gut, he watched Prince Gustov leaned down to say something that amused Her Highness. The crowd that circled them danced around them, laughed, and admired the striking pair.

  Drew hated the bastard with the loathing of a thousand men.

  He turned from the vision they made and strode from the room, not bothering to excuse himself from Princess Alessa, who called after him. He blindly walked up a deserted passage that ran alongside the ballroom, the muffled sound of the waltz baiting him at his mistake, of why she had pushed him away.

  He had denied her what she wanted. Him. And now she would deny him the very same.

  A door along the passage lay open, the room abandoned and dark. Perfect. He went in and slumped down on the silk lounge that sat before an unlit fire. Muffled laughter and music echoed through the palace, and Drew shook his head, unable to comprehend how he was here and how he had lost her affection.

  For a woman who seemed fond of him, affectionate and kind, she certainly knew how to stick him with a sword well enough through the heart.

  He lay his head back on the lounge, staring at the ceiling. He looked to the side and spied a decanter of brandy.
Leaning over, he clasped the crystal jug and drank deep, forgoing a glass.

  If tonight was his last night in Atharia with Holly and he was to be alone, what better way to go than to drink himself into oblivion until the pain that coursed through every fiber of his soul numbed and dissipated.

  "Lord Balhannah, how very far away you are from London. I did not expect to find you here, but was rightfully pleased to have it confirmed tonight at the ball."

  Drew started, sitting up at the sight of Lady Ambrose, Earl Courtenay's widow, and heaven help him, one of his former lovers.

  "You look lost, Drew darling. Is everything well?"

  Unable to fathom that she was here, he ran a hand over his face, clearing his vision. He'd never been able to deny himself her body when she offered it, but the thought of touching her now left him wanting to cast up his accounts. "Leave me, Josephine. I'm not good company to keep."

  She ignored his request, coming to sit beside him on the lounge, her body hard up against his side, one arm laying gently atop his thigh. "I can make you good company, Drew. Shall we have a little fun abroad while we're here?" The woman slipped her tongue along her top lip and damn it, his cock twitched in his breeches.

  He took another long pull of his brandy, the room spinning. "No. You need to leave. I want to be alone."

  "You're not pining for the Crown Princess, are you?" She clicked her tongue, shaking her head, her long, blonde curls bouncing about her neck. "I saw you watching her like a pining little puppy. You must remember, the princess will be crowned queen tomorrow. We may be nobility, Drew but even our stature will only get you so far. She is not for you."

  He frowned, hating her words and the truth of them that rung like a bell in his head. "I know that." Not that the fact made the situation any more palatable. Nothing would make leaving Holly so.